I’m so used to saying I have no dad that now that he decided to reappear (after 20x years), at first thoughts, I just can’t seem to get the hang of remembering that I have one now. And to some extend I think he gets a little upset about it (maybe, maybe not – he probably doesn’t know what being a dad is like to feel upset, I’m guessing).
Reading all the father’s day articles and what-not, makes me wonder how kinship emotions actually work.
I’ve been so used to being alone that it just doesn’t come to me as naturally as it should. Like I wouldn’t be expecting a birthday cake or presents from my family, at best a text telling me I’ve been wired “ang bao”. I don’t have any of my siblings on FB so I don’t get birthday messages from them either; dependency is on my friends and my new-found family.
This isn’t a depressing message, but more like… I never really put too much thought about kinship despite reading and writing about “mother’s day”, “father’s day” and coming up with promotional activities on these “family oriented” occasions; which makes me question what it all means, now.