My relationship with money changed

When I stopped trying to control it.

Confession:
I don’t think money is the problem.
I think our relationship with money is.

For a long time, I thought that if I just worked harder, planned better, and stayed more disciplined, money would flow more easily. But that wasn’t the full truth.

Money didn’t change.
I did.

The Ken Honda moment (November 2024)

In November 2024, I attended Ken Honda’s retreat with Chloe, Kelly, and Ken. I went in expecting insights about money – income, flow, mindset.

What I didn’t expect was to walk out, realising something far more uncomfortable:

I wasn’t the person I wanted to be.

It wasn’t dramatic. No lightning bolt. No overnight transformation.
It was quieter than that. Deeper.

That was when I realised something important:
My relationship with money was good – but not great.

And just like any relationship that’s “okay but not amazing,” it technically works… but it doesn’t flow.

The realisation: Money is relational

One idea from the retreat stayed with me:

Money is relational.
It responds to how you feel about it.

Not in a woo-woo way – in a very human way.

Think about it:

Do you want to be around someone who’s constantly stressed, anxious, and panicking?
Or someone who’s calm, grounded, happy, and trusting?

Money is no different.

When you feel stressed about money, money feels stressed being around you.

Common sense, right?

You wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who’s always tense and unhappy.
So why would money?

Control was the real issue

During the retreat, it became painfully clear that my issue with money wasn’t:

Lack
Intelligence
Effort

It was control.

From a young age, I always wanted to stand out. As I got older, I learned to step back – to be responsible, measured, careful. Somewhere along the way, I started managing money instead of relating to it.

Then the real “aha” landed:

I had a skillset that could help people – but if I didn’t show up, no one would know.

Money wasn’t avoiding me.
I was dimming myself.

That was the moment I understood why money and I weren’t flowing effortlessly.

The reframe: Look at money as a friend

One sentence reframed everything for me:

“Look at money as your friend. You create the environment where it feels safe being with you.”

So I asked myself:
What does a safe environment for money actually look like?

Not pressure.
Not fear.
Not an obligation.

Think about your closest friendships:

You don’t control them.
You don’t guilt them into staying.
You don’t panic every time they leave the room.

You listen.
You spend time.
You trust they’ll come back.

That’s when I realised – I had been a control freak with money.

What I stopped doing (and started doing instead)

In 2025, I made a quiet but firm decision:
I would only control my actions, not outcomes, not people, not timing.

I stopped:

Panicking over numbers.
Forcing results.
Carrying emotional responsibility that wasn’t mine.
Treating money like an obligation.

I started:

Showing up consistently.
Working on projects that genuinely excite me.
Sharing insights when asked, never enforcing.
Letting money come towards me, not chasing it.

Faith replaced pressure.
Fun replaced anxiety.

Why things accelerated in 2025 (without forcing)

In 2025, things started moving faster again – but this time, it felt clean.

Not frantic.
Not exhausting.

I was happily doing what I wanted to do.
Decisions became easier.
Internal battles reduced.

Money didn’t suddenly come from one big dramatic source – it flowed better through what already existed. Less friction. Less forcing.

To date, I’m involved in close to 40 portfolios. But more importantly, I finally felt aligned while building them.

Bubble tea economics (a very real system)

Let me be honest.

Every once in a while, when I pay multiple bills at once, I still go:
“Wah… I’m broke.”

Then I grab a cake or bubble tea.
I calm down.
I feel happy again.

Because I know – deep down – this isn’t fear. It’s just a moment.

And moments pass.

The stress insight (read this twice)

Here’s the line I keep coming back to:

When you feel stressed about money, money feels stressed coming to you.

Before, the voice in my head sounded like:
“I don’t have enough.”
“I need to make more.”
“I must perform.”

It felt like an obligation.

But relationships aren’t obligations – they’re wants.

When money became something I wanted to engage with, instead of something I had to chase, the dynamic shifted.

Now, when that stress voice appears, I pause.
I remind myself: Showing up daily is enough.
Flow follows consistency, not panic.

A 2026 realisation: Boundaries matter too

Here’s the newer layer I didn’t expect.

I’m calm with my money.
I’m not calm with other people’s money.

Recently, I found myself massively anxious because I couldn’t log into Kelly’s MEXC account for a few days – even though all safeguards were in place.

Logically? Everything was fine.
Emotionally? I was stressed.

And that’s when it clicked.

This was the same pattern that burned me out years ago:

Performance pressure.
Other people’s outcomes.
“Everyone’s rice bowl on my shoulders.”

That anxiety wasn’t money.
That was responsibility without boundaries.

I can guide.
I can advise.
I can design systems.

But I cannot enforce someone else’s relationship with money.

And I no longer carry that weight.

Protecting my peace protects my flow.

Money × relationships: The same rules apply

Grace said it perfectly:

“The more pressure you put, the more they run.”

Today, my relationship with money feels like a secure relationship:

There’s cashflow.
There are investments.
There’s trust.

No pressure.
No extremes.

We call it a balance sheet for a reason – it has to balance.

And here’s the mistake founders make with money that they’d never tolerate with people:
Being controlling, anxious, and emotionally volatile – then wondering why things don’t stay.

Practical steps (not woo, just work)

Here’s my very simple manifestation framework:

Think about it – get clear on what you want.
Verbalise it – journal, say it out loud, or even post it publicly.
Take aligned action – small, consistent steps daily.

Manifestation without action is delusion.
Action without intention is exhaustion.

You need both.

Final thought

Money wants to be around people who feel safe to be with.

So be the kind of energy you’d want in a friendship:
Grounded. Calm. Trusting.

Or as Grace said, “be a cat. 😆”
Unbothered. Confident. Secure.

And let the right things come to you.

If this resonates, here’s what I want you to know:

This isn’t just about money.
It’s about your money – and how you relate to it.

There are many ways to cook the same egg:

Speakers Society Accelerator → for those who want to show up and monetise their voice.
Royal Launch School → for female founders who want automated digital businesses.
Money and AI Accelerator (join the waitlist) → for those who want to diversify and invest.

Different paths.
Same outcome: Growing income with alignment.

And that’s where I can help.