It’s not all going well, but it is somewhat going well. But “well”, just isn’t enough. There must be more to life than this?!
I’m trying very very hard to focus on THE business. Seriously, trying DAMN bloody hard. But when the numbers just aren’t really there, and there’s close to no level of passion/satisfaction… you really can’t blame someone like me to go, “F*** this shit.”
I’ve always been the passion driven sort of person. Sadly, most of the time that really doesn’t really pay the bills. Thankfully, it’s these little projects of mine that gets me through the day knowing… “Yeah, work is boring, but at least I have so-and-so to utilise my little creativity left in this aging brain of mine… well… occupied?”
It’s not my fault I too have a shiny object syndrom. It’s not my fault my numerology indicates a double expression (two 3s). It’s not my fault my brain is wired this way!
I’ve always been the “a little crazy” one. And now, I’m the logical one. You have NO freaking idea how much effort, on a daily basis, I’ve got to put in to maintain my composure. Constantly in my head the words, “Baby com’on, let’s get it moving here…” (running through my head, running through my head…) “You’re driving me crazyyy (of boredom)…”
It’s obvious what excites me and what drowns me in boredom. If I’d bother to come running to you whenever you buzz me, then hohoho, whatever you have to say, probably excites me. If I go, “Ermmm… okay.” Well, clearly whatever you have in mind is routine to me.
I practice routines. As a jack of trades, I can proudly say, I ace routines, a grandmaster. Unfortunately, I also detest them. Routines are not challenging. Routines are not fun. Routines… well… routines are routines. Everyday I need to shower, would I be excited to take a shower in the same bathroom, day in day out? Dum dum dum. The answer is pretty obvious, no?
As a teenage, I loved cars, bikes, anything that has an engine and moves. When I grew up, bought my car, I hated driving. I dare say, I’m an AWESOME driver, but it no longer excites me to drive. And ridiculous as it may sound, obviously unwilling to do it solo, taking the MRT and bus is actually amusing. (Pardon me for not sympathizing with those that have to take public transport, I earned my right to comfort transportation. My mum didn’t buy me my car, thank you very much. It would be nice if she would/could though. I would very much like to be mummy’s girl. Anyone needing an overage daughter?)
Point I’m making here. There aren’t any. I’m ranting. I already indicated that in the title.
If some sense must be made to what I’m saying, I guess… I’m trying to say, I’m bored. Hopefully these two projects I’m on can actually excite me long enough to see if flourish into something amazing. Then again, if it doesn’t, excite me long enough that is, you might want to slap some sense into me. Like I said, I’m a grandmaster of routines. I need not like everything I do, but I’d do it anyway. I do it better when there’s dependency. And I can get excited when someone else is excited. So a trick to keep me excited, is to be excited.
Heads up girls (specifically referring to Priss and Ling). Get the hint.