Every memory I hold dearly to my heart. But memories are just memories. I can't imagine the devastation I'm going to suffer when I receive a text from you telling me you've got someone new. I'd image that's when I go completely insane and just hide in my room for the longest time ever.
I didn't stop trying because I felt I'd fail. I stopped trying cause I know, if I tried and succeed, I'd just eventually disappoint again. As much as I want to believe that was true love, it was only as true as I imagined it to be. A short lived fantasy of having a complete family.
I love the Note 2 so much simply because it allows me to scribble my thoughts down the old fashion manner. Technology is great, but sometimes old school methods has its charms. Reminds me of puppy love. He was the first guy that asked me on a date to the movies, and shortly after dating, asked if I'd be his girlfriend. I doubt I'd find this innocence ever again. I'm not sure if this is what you define as regret. Every festive season I just feel like hiding home. I don't feel like talking, much less go out. I didn't just lose the guy that possibly loved me the most, I also lost my best friend. I'm incapable of love, I'm only capable of behaving as though I am, and fantasise on the possibility. It has always been the case. I feel sad because I should. I'm not absolutely sure if I was ever true.
I can't help thinking, one year ago today, I was with my best friend. We could talk about everything, there was never any pressure. When I smiled, he would. When I kept quiet, he would just sit there and accompanied me. When I was upset, he would give me a big hug. I detest festive seasons, because I know, I gave up my home.
Why do they have to show 'Valentine's Day' on Lunar New Year? I mean, can't we get through one festive at a time? Seriously, I have this whole festive blues. First it was Christmas, then New Year, now Lunar New Year, and shortly... Valentine's Day. Geez. The whole "marrying my best friend" concept is seriously disturbing...


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